Tips for Educating Children without Violence


Tips for Educating Children without Violence

Research shows, many parents actually do not want to beat their children, but do not know of other ways that can be used to give a punishment (punishment) to children. Recent research conducted by the Family Research Laboratory shows that hitting children teaches children to use acts of aggression and violence to solve their problems. Beating children only teaches more violence that is troubling the public. This research shows that children who are hit are more susceptible to Stress. So, for the sake of our children’s future, do the following things instead of hitting:

1. Calm Yourself
If you feel angry, uncontrollable emotions and you want to beat your child, leave this situation if possible. Calm down and quiet. Amid this silence, we will often find alternative solutions to the problems at hand.

2. Find Time For Yourself
Parents are more prone to hit if they do not have time for themselves, feel rushed and run out of energy. So, it is important for parents to use a little time for themselves, for example: sports, reading or relaxing walks etc.

3. Use Good But Firm Action
The frustrating situation that makes parents tend to hit is when children do not want to listen even though we have asked for it many times. Finally, we are impatient and beat our children with the aim that our children behave appropriately. Another solution for situations like this is to align our posture with our child (by bending the battery for example or squatting), making eye contact, touching the child gently and telling him with a good but firm expression what we want from our child to do. For example: “Father / mother ask you to play quietly huh … Dad / Mother is working!”

4. Give Options
Giving a child a choice includes a good alternative rather than hitting. If our child plays food at the dining table, ask “Do you prefer to stop playing with food or prefer to leave the dinner table?” If the child continues to play with food, use strict action but is good by helping the child get off the chair and leave the table. Tell him, he can go back to the table if he is ready to eat without playing food.

5. Use Consequences Logic
The consequences are logically related to behavior that helps teach children responsibility. For example, our child breaks the window of a neighbor’s window and we punish him by hitting him. What do our children learn from this situation? He may learn not to do this again, but he also learns, that he must hide his mistakes, blame others, lie or just try not to get caught. He might also decide, that he is bad or feels angry and revenge on the parents who hit him. If we hit to punish him, but do we want our child to be good because of fear or because of respect for us?

Compare if a child makes a mistake such as breaking the window pane of the neighbor and we as parents say, “I see you broke the window window, bro?” “What will you do to repair or replace it?” With a firm but good voice. think maybe by mowing the lawn for a few days or a few weeks, you can also think about washing your car in a few days or weeks, mistakes are an inevitable part of life and not too important, that he made a mistake, but he responsible for correcting his mistakes Focus not on his mistakes, but responsible for correcting his mistakes.

6. Repair
If a child violates an agreement, parents tend to want to punish him. Another alternative is to ask the child to improve. Repairing yourself is doing something with people whose promises are violated by children. For example, some children stay at Anton’s house. His father asked, they should not leave home in the middle of the night. The children violated the agreement. The father was angry and punished them by saying, they could not stay again for 2 months. Anton and his friends were angry and uncooperative as a result of this punishment. The father realized what he was doing. He apologized for punishing them and told them, he felt betrayed and discussed the importance of holding a promise. He then asked the children to make repairs. They decided to cut the wood that his father had to cut in the backyard. Children become happy and enthusiastic about the project and after that, stick to the promise to stay again.

7. Withdraw from Conflict
Children deny parents can trigger parents to beat children. In this situation, it would be best if we immediately withdraw from this situation. Don’t get out of the room in anger.