I’m so weak. I did it. Yes, I did auction myself, and you know what? I pretty much enjoyed it. It was a really fun event even if I really didn’t expect to have fun.

Why did I do it? Because at some point I stopped feeling the pressure, and could take a decision by myself, on my own will. Because most of the people there are my friends. Because I love them. Because many of my lovers were actually on the auction block, and Mistress Codie wanted to support them.

And you know what? I don’t regret it at all. Well, not yet at least.

So, let’s resume a few interesting highlights:

• Yours truely and Gabby Panacek got on the block together and went for 50K late in the auction to adorable Botgirl Questi. We got 37500 from the sale. Half of 12500 went to Locks of Love. And myself and Gabby donated 10K to Rosie’s cancer charity. We kept the rest and splitted it, for ourselves to decide what to do with it. We are dizzy in anticipation about what Botgirl will want from us, but it may be educative. I feel a bit like a sexy lab rat, but I guess we surely won’t be bored with what she has in store for us.
• We apparently got the highest bid apart lovely blog superstar Zoe Connolly that went for 50K too.
• I won the bid on my very admired queen of bloggers, ultimate neko and fellow FIC honcho, Vint Falken for a little 17K and I must say this is probably the best spent money in my SL. You should know I am worshipping Vint since I know her, over one year and a half now. I always admired her greatly, and now I totally pwn her for a whooping 24h, I could not be more thrilled! Since her requirement was no sex (bummer) I will make her do a couple of work related things for me, including helping me to promote my new sim Rouge and other related tasks.
• I won the bid on lovely TheDiva Rockin coupled with Kat Glimmer. Gawd only knows what I have in store for them! *grins devilishly*
• I won the bid on my own girlfriend Nadine Nozaki for around 5K (Crap Mariner you cheap bastard!)
• Vint Falken actually won the bid on my own submissive lover Rheta Shan… and offered her to me! <3
• Rheta then won the bid on Zoe Connolly… and offered her to me too! XD
• And Zoe Connolly won the bid on… yes, Botgirl Questi! Making it the most interesting Domme/Sub autority chain in history!
• I lost the bid on Veyron (it went up to more than 30K) but I cut a deal with Jene that I could borrow Vey for a couple of hours, which honestly delights me.

In conclusion, I can only retain the positive aspects. It was ages I didn’t spend quality time with either Rheta, Zoe, Nadine and Vint. Yes, It will eat up dozens of hours of my time, but you know what? I never have enough for my real good friends. Maybe this will help me set my priorities straight and spend some time with the people I truely love and admire.

Thanks to everyone for morally supporting me, commenting on Plurk and my last blog post, and all of those who IMed me inworld, you put a big bright smile on my face. Thanks to Alidar, Jessyka, Gabby, Marx and everyone that were there with me at the auction, seriously, I wouldn’t have had the guts if you weren’t there for me.

And what about me and Gabby’s hard time with our new Mistress Botgirl? Stay tuned for more.

To the risk of sounding melodramatic, I’m confronted for the first time in my superstar life to a situation I would rather have avoided all over. You know, it always sounds easy to be the cool, fun loving sex symbol of the grid, but it comes with the social pressure of everyone expecting you to jump in every bandwagon that passes by, no matter if I want to participate or not.

In this case, we’re talking of putting yours truly through a slave auction, for my pixelated body to be sold to anybody for a whole 24h. Well that last detail is really a bummer for me. I may seem to be online loosing my time and procrastinating, but I already have very limited online time to take care of my lovers, do my art, take care of my sims, among every other social or creative activities I attend to. I may be the only one in SL with no alts to play around with multiple viewer instance, and after all, there’s only one Codie.

Also, it may sound weird coming from me, I know. But I have very little personal interest in doing such thing.

On the pro side, seeing people fighting to bid on myself may be good for my ego as some say I may reach a very high price, and the money would go on charity, which is my only real point of interest.

On the con side, it’s 24h of precious time slipping out of my fingers, it’s something I have no thrill or appeal of doing, it seriously bruises my Domme ego, and already causes some drama because I’m not exactly excited about this type of party fun.

The thing with this type of social pressure is, I’m damned if I do, and I’m damned if I don’t. In all honesty, I would have rather totally dodged it, and just do what I do, go online, have fun, make love to my sweeties, and do constructive stuff. Why not just have party with no pressure or social obligations? Not only I already lost my weekend on it, but I may have to deal with another 24h to distribute it in chunks to whatever who “buys me”.

Popularity is a double edge sword. I’m not there to amuse you. I’m there to do my work and be happy. And I currently am not happy to be put in such situation. Know that if I finally crack under the pressure, it’s not to please myself.

So I’m confronted to a choice I don’t want to take, to the risk of sounding uncool and selfish and dodge the party and the auction all over, or swallow the load and deal with something I have no interest of doing in order to please the crowds. Both of them leaving a very bitter after taste in my mouth…

I’m doing some serious rethinking about my role in the Secondlife community, it may be time I get a few alts and pull Codie back a little, next time I may be better prepared to deal with such cases.