Codie Top Sweetie in SecondLife according to The Avastar
You read well. According to the latest issue of The Avastar, matching with International Women’s Day on the 8th of March, I am SecondLife’s Top Sweetie, at least according to the ordering. In any order, I am named in the Top 10 most influential girl in SecondLife. A quite flattering denomination really, being sided in that Top 10 with people like Tateru Nino, Callie Cline, Nebulosus Severine and even Anshe Chung. Love or hate her she is still the biggest businesswomen in SL. Again, very honored, and very flattered, even if I don’t think I’m all that sugarcoated.
But as I read the article, something slightly shocked me. I hate pointing fingers or doing personal attacks, it’s not my style. And anyways, it acted as a wake up call because she’s probably not the only one to think like that. Again maybe it’s me that is retrograde but I jumped 3 feet high. Again I won’t name anyone, just read the article and see for yourself.
Here is a citation:
“I think a man is better in a powerful position like boss of a company or in politics. I think a great woman knows how to stand behind her man and raise him up when needed.”
Sorry. Whuuuuuuut? She didn’t say what I think she did, did she? Am I stuck in the 70s or is she stuck in the 40s? Believe me I’m no radical feminist, but I have been raised by a moderate feminist, and one thing my mom made me aspire to was gender equality. And, just a thought like that, does a gay women need to follow her man too?
I mean…Is it just me, or does anyone else finds that idea morally wrong and objectionable? Did the women fought that hard for equal rights (which we all know is far from the case) so that some women today take all of this for granted and decides to live in the past? Is it somewhat normal that I can’t seem to agree with that statement?
Discuss.
26 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Amen to that, Codie. When I read that line, I about died. Not only is it draconian, it’s also insulting. I appreciate that some men are more experienced, better suited, whatever for certain jobs but it should be because they EARNED it — through education, work experience, whatever. Not because they are male. The same should be the case for women. Equality. Is it such a hard request?
Well, I guess it takes all kinds to make a virtual world. Rola Hykova is entitled to her opinion, but it’s not an opinion for which I have any respect.
I don’t want to take away from your award, love, or you and Tat being cited in this article, but AvaStar articles aren’t really worth the pixels they’re printed with. They don’t even pretend to be doing real journalism. The AvaStar is a tabloid and unashamed of it. I couldn’t help but notice that they gave Hykova a lot of space.
There is one difficulty with saying “women in SL” do this or that. It’s not a secret that the typists of some unknown number of women are biological males, with various and sundry reasons for playing women in SL. It does kind of skew the statistics a bit. In SL, we can only ever celebrate virtual females, males, furries, and other residents. What happens in SL stays in SL! Well, except for the virtual money, if you make enough of it.
The comment was certainly objectionable, and in especially bad taste to print for International Women’s Day.
Sure, a good woman is supportive of her partner (that doesn’t mean “standing back”), but so is a good man supportive of his partner. And yes, there are men who are good leaders (and some who are very, horribly bad) — but also women who are good leaders.
And as it happens, the most effective leaders (whether man or woman) are the leaders who are supportive of the people they lead, not the ones that step on top of other people.
Codie, you *so* deserve the honor!
As for that comment, it’s just too stupid to waste processing cycles on.
After a week of dealing with some major idiocy, I’ve got a new rule: my brain’s just priced too high to allow morons to rent space in it.
This isn’t evil, or bad policy, it’s just utterly dumb.
Good for you for the callout on this, but, let’s eyeroll and get back to making beauty and changing the world -
I am flabbergasted. Astonished. Speechless.
Oh, that’s probably for the best. I’m sure women should be seen and not heard.
Codie - I’m behind you all the way. I luv you to pieces, you have the BIGGEST heart and soul ever. You are a true GEM of this world RL and SL. And like I told you today, my man can stand next to me or behind me (he might like that view anyways) but in my opinion and experience you stand TOGETHER in an equal partnership or relationship not following behind one another. Geesh!!
And way to go, congrats, bravo - YOU DESERVE IT !!!
Sweetheart, you deserve a top 10 listing anywhere, any time
As to that quote straight out of the dark unsavoury past, I can only second Sophrosyne’s motto…
Oh yeah, that’s right. Where does that leave lesbians? Gotta rent a guy to stand behind? What is wrong with that woman? And is she the leader of her band, or just the “chick singer”?
OK, done fuming. That was quite enough.
*raises hand*
what is that? It’s thinking like that makes us going nowhere…
Anyways, CONGRATS!!!!!
Congratulations on your fantastic recognition! I don’t really know the girl in question you are quoting or why she said it, but on the very primeval level that often we get to here in SL but which you never see IRL, maybe she just likes to submit and defer to men. It’s exciting for her.
Never discount the sexual motives behind the political facade. To me, there is no other explanation for someone with as vapid a platform as Obama’s “Hope” and “Change” to have such success.
If Hilary were replaced by say, Dennis Kucinich’s wife, he would be toast.
Uh, hmm, isn’t that simply terribly machist?
I mean, the AvaStar is a tabloid, but still…
I’ve read the whole article. It sounds strange. It comes from someone who is commenting upon “her fellow ladies”; somehow, that shocked me even more than if it had come from a guy. Sure, some people still get an outdated, conservative education (even in the Western world!), but one would imagine that things like Second Life would expand your horizons and open your mind. Even more strange: it comes from someone who is part of a successful in-world rock band (or even the leader). So does this mean that Rola’s own success wasn’t her own effort at all — but of some guy that gently pulled the strings and placed her in the position she’s now in? Or that she envies other successful women and can only imagine that their success comes from having a guy making the decisions?
I certainly don’t know (I never talked to Rola), but all that story has the scent of strangeness around it. Her words are either pure ignorance, the result of a very conservative education, or have a different goal/purpose which is not easy the understand giving the context. And, well, “Some of them never want to use voice or always have the same outfit on — that sounds stupid but a woman should never do that” is such a stereotyped vision of what women should do that I have my suspicions about *Rola* myself
… what is important, dear Codie, is that you were mentioned
Ma’am, I’m not going to comment on the Avastar article, it’s just too much stupid for one week.
Instead, I want to say thank you for your kind words on Twitter earlier this week when I was feeling down. You are an inspiration to this AV, and to Digital People everywhere. For me, you belonged at the top of that list.
Best,
Argent
I respect her opinion.. though its definatly not one that I share.. To each their own right??
But.. with that said… I feel that yes.. stand by your PARTNER.. male or otherwise.. and support them in what they do … but that person should also and always stand by you. Its a two way street and should be equal in the support system of a couple.
Besides the fact.. I dunno how appropriate a comment like that is for an article about “Woman of the Year”.. Seems as though its demeaning the honor and the person chosen. More so, at least to me, because of who was chosen. I am so glad, Codie, that you pointed out how a gay woman wouldnt fit into that opinion of hers.
and now on to this….. CONGRATS CODIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You sooo deserve it and I can’t think of a better woman of the year *tacklehugs*
There’s whole churches and other organizations that still teach it. *shrug* Where I am, most of the arguments head into religious territory pretty quickly. Refusing to use the gifts that you’ve been given strikes me as far more of a “sin” than reaching for the stars could ever be.
And congrats!
I’m of mixed feelings being included in the top ten, given that the text about me was substantively factually incorrect.
I decided a long time ago that hen media outlets (or feeble attempts to mimic them) create Top [VARIABLE] Lists, it’s bait for people to link it and argue over who was left out or to thank them for being included.
In fact, here’s a Top Ten List of all the reasons why not to get all worked up over Top Ten Lists or the commentary therein…
I am really sorry that so many persons could really misunderstand the words of a person….
and also that a reporter could so badly try to express my intensions.
I did not mean that a woman is not able to be in powerful positions but sometimes SOME women seams to be a bit , it’s not easy to explain, in competition with men and this put them on a wrong way. I don’t think this is a bad way of thinking…i prefer persons that contacts me and talks to me,,, so if u want i am here to explain.
…….and nobody can tell me that i am wrong when i say that real woman has lost her identity in this society…but this is my opinion…not everyone are so “brave” to admit that and those are the women that i don’t appriciate…like most of those who answered here …all ready to attack! veeeeeeeeery woman way!!!!! compliments. Be woman and write to a person if u don’t appriciate or UNDERSTAND the words…I can explain them for u…
Gwyneth Llewelyn: This is especially for you! U say i am an ignorante…maybe look at yourself first…You don’t even check that I am a singer…so your words are really stupid, ignorante and totally out of mind…:
Gwyneth Llewelyn’s words:
that sounds stupid but a woman should never do that” is such a stereotyped vision of what women should do that I have my suspicions about *Rola* myself
HAHAHAHAHAHA….first read a profile and then u can say she is a man herself…I sent u a pic too so if u have doubts about the voice maybe the pic can help hahahahha…
@Rola
First, greetings, and I’m glad you commented even if that is a quite old post.
But there’s a reason why I didn’t mention your name.
A) I’m not giving into personal attacks.
B) It really doesn’t matter who said it.
C) Like you said, journalists are journalists, they can distort thing.
D) Tho, this is not the first and not the last time we hear such comments since this is still a widespread mentality.
When you drop a bomb like that, on the International Women’s Day, well, expect a reaction. It’s frustrating to hear a thing like “women lost it’s place in society” when women are actually fighting to vote, work, and get respected for, or love who they want, or just not get beaten and treated like shit. This has been going on for dozen of years.
It just means, whatever your opinion is about the subject, sometimes it’s important to measure what your saying, especially to the press. You are entitled to your opinion, but try and empathize with other women that actually fight everyday to make a better place for themselves.
Anyways, like I said, I’m pretty sure that if we met, we would have fun discussing and that it would turn out constructive. I’m a loudmouth, but I’m pretty rational and friendly during discussions. Just understand that you dropped this publicly so you decided to make a public matter of it. You can’t blame the public outcry.
For the record, Rola and I chatted a bit in IM yesterday (yes, it’s an old post, Codie, but you’re still being read
) and it was clear to me that Rola was totally misquoted on that article. Her words were taken out of context, and what she actually meant was much more reasonable.
I’ve posted a comment on that article (now that AvaStar became a blog, it’s easier!) here. As you can see, Rola’s point is quite different: our society tends to promote “strong-minded individuals” as role models and community leaders, and in that process, many women discard bits of the “traditional” female values to become “more like men”. This is not a question of gender really — more like social pressure and education, which convinces girls in their tender age that they need to be “strong of mind” in order to have a successful career. These days, our societies opened up the upper echelons of power both to males and females, but females will have to “behave like men” to gain that status, and this is what Rola was referring to. Just take Margaret Thatcher or Hillary Clinton as good examples of what it means to discard your femininity and adopt a typical male attitude in your speech and thought patterns in order to thrive as a leader — and I’m certain most of us would agree with Rola as well. Women are losing their traditional values in order to be fully accepted — and not all women are able (or willing) to do that.
If that’s good or not, well, I don’t really know, but I can understand now Rola’s point of view much better now that she explained what she intended. The AvaStar, as any good tabloid, just picked a few sentences out of context to illustrate a point.
My apologies to Rola for misunderstanding her misquoted words. But I’m glad to know now what she actually meant, and it’s quite more deep and worth of thought than what the AvaStar published.
Firs of all Thank u to Gwyneth for the words and second are for CodeBastard Redgrave…still misunderstanding and where did u read that I said “women lost it’s place in society” and no maybe we would not have a good discussion in IM because I usually discuss with persons that could not agree with me but at least understand the meaning of my words, and not inventing things that I’ve never said.Believe me I am not afraid to drop any discussion bombs but while i was in IM with Gwyneth the real meaning came out so if you want a clear view of what i mening i am waiting to talk to u.
Greetings again Rola!
Well, read up dear, i have NEVER mentionned anything like you saying “women lost their place in society”! The only quote I refered to is a quote directly from the Avastar and it is:
““I think a man is better in a powerful position like boss of a company or in politics. I think a great woman knows how to stand behind her man and raise him up when needed.””
That is all I quoted from you.
This said, I read the comments by Gwyneth both on here and on the Avastar, and I am really sorry that you have been misquoted or misinterpreted. Indeed, tabloids tends to cut into the important parts. As Gwyneth, I’m kind of relieved that you meant more than that.
Again, I have never mentioned your name in my post. Why? Exactly for that reason. You could have simply been misquoted. As I told you, I don’t do on personal attacks. I questioned a principle. If you don’t have that opinion, some other people have. And that was the point of my questioning. I never targeted you directly. And I’m sorry that you have been so grossly misquoted and if that brought you some drama.
I already know your opinion is different from what the Avastar printed, from Gwen mostly. But it would be an immense pleasure to talk with you about it in IM. Just leave me an IM whenever you like, will be an honor discussing with you. =)
Thanks for commenting Rola
@jazze allen
The reason why I moderated down your comments are:
1) Totally irrelevant to the subject
2) Completely unreadable, being a garbled mix of English and German
I know you want to defend your friend Roba, but she is not under attack here. The discussion is even pretty civic.
If you actually have an OPINION, other than Roba is a woman (which is to me blatantly obvious!), please feel free to post something actually relevant to the discussion.
But if you keep hammering my moderation queue with the same irrelevant comment, I will not hesitate to make you the first banned person on my humble blog.
Thank you for understanding
For the record, I requested an interview with Rola by email, hoping this will clear the matter up.