Codie for Governor (not)
What can’t we find in a draft bin! I had this post prepared for the SL Elections months ago, but since I didn’t run for governorship, I forgot all about it and never posted it. So at popular demand (not!), I’m just posting this to make you laugh. BEWARE. If you can’t grasp sarcasm DO NOT READ or you will need an eyewash.
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Dear SLitizens,
I hereby declare my intentions to run as Governor for the upcoming SLections. My platform is one of change and common sense. I believe the whole community is backing me up on the key issues present in my platform.
If I get elected:
- I will expel all normal people from SecondLife, the “normies”. Liberated from them, we will be free to run around in PG areas naked and covered in red Jell-O.
- Everyone will be mandatory Ruthed. We are not far from it anyways.
- Age verification will require mugshot, DNA analysis and indexing, fingerprinting, urine and blood samples. After that, asking for Social Security number or Passport will sound petty.
- We must play safe! From now on every texture in SL will be styrofoam, to insure a kid safe environnement.
- I will personally go to visit any parent letting their kid play SecondLife on the main grid, and whoop their asses myself. You can complain SL is a spawn of hell, but if you cannot watch your kids, and expect SL to be used as a nanny, you are a fucking moron.
- Every form of violence is banned. Any offender will be shot repeatedly in the head in RL and the remains put in jail.
- 24/24 surveillance of every chat and IM. There is no place for privacy in a safe place. Surrender your rights now, resistance is futile.
- Daily spanking administered by Anshe Chung herself.
- SL will be moved to Sealand and declared as an independant prim banana republic, un-subjected to international RL law.
- Lynch mobs to hang all Goreans and Furries, but they will need to accept the animation first.
- The end of all fantasy, role playing, cyber sex. SecondLife is serious business and it is not a place to play or have fun.
- I will add many more new cool spiffy glitzy features to SL, neglect my community base and rise them against each other. What? I’m honest about it at least.
- Find contradictions in my platform? Good. Ambiguity and vagueness is the new rule from now on.
- Hate my platform? Excellent.
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What about normal textures with styrofoam bump maps? Will that do?
*climbs back up onto his chair, trying to breathe again after this laugh attack*
Is all sarcasm? I mean, some of the ideas are totally right for me, like: “I will personally go to visit any parent letting their kid play SecondLife on the main grid, and whoop their asses myself. You can complain SL is a spawn of hell, but if you cannot watch your kids, and expect SL to be used as a nanny, you are a fucking moron.” or “SL will be moved to Sealand and declared as an independant prim banana republic, un-subjected to international RL law.”.
Some other are true, but not right, like: “I will add many more new cool spiffy glitzy features to SL, neglect my community base and rise them against each other. What? I’m honest about it at least.” Hon, in this porpose LL is better and faster
About Anshe Chung spanking me… hotter than my most masoquist dreams!
Anyway, i will vote you!
hahahahaha LMAO Raul, i ♥♥♥ you
thats the thing with sarcasm, its even more funny when you cannot detect which are the right and the wrong parts 
and indeed, i do think parents that lets their kid go on SL needs an ass whooping, and i do think moving LL tech operations to sealand would be awesome, problem is connectivity in Sealand is shitty 
and as many people, like you, I dream of a good spanking by Anshe too. yes, i admit it. XD
*big huge hugs* and hug Mr. Peenie for me plz
You should have run agains Myg and I! That would have been great. PS. Luv your new banner, would make one hell of a state flag!
hahaha awwwww i ♥♥♥ you so much Vint =) *huge hugs* i know that would have been lots of fun running against you but I really was too caught up with things. with power comes duties and I would have HATED deceiving you guys
*mwah!*
Damn…I’ve wet my knickers laughing
Hah. You wouldn’t last 5 minutes in your office if you were running for the elections at the Confederation of Democratic Simulators — a self-governing community now into its fourth year of history and just going through its seventh public elections — where people discuss everything, even if winning the elections by exploiting a well-known limitation of the voting system (well-known as in: known for several decades), is “fair” or not.
Your manifesto was much more fun to read, though